First Film Shoot

January's almost over, and already I've had a lot of firsts in 2013: my first 16x20 print of one of my photographs, my first time on a train, and yesterday I did my first photo shoot on film instead of digital. It was also my first completely manual shoot (manual focus, ISO, aperture, and shutter speed).

I'm taking Intro to Photography this semester and in the class we have to do shoot a roll of film each week and develop our pictures in a darkroom. I've been wanting to take this class for years. Both of my sisters who are into photography, Joy and Kerry, have taken it in the past, so it almost feels like a tradition now.

Our assignment was to use what we had learned in class (how to shoot in manual on a sunny day) and use that knowledge to make pictures with the theme of "shadows and light." I kind of lost sight of that almost immediately, because I'm not used to having a theme, but I hope my professor likes my pictures anyway.

I knew I wanted to do something really out there for my first film shoot. Our professor had showed us some examples of the "shadows and light" theme and a lot of the pictures shown used the play of light over water. That made me think of a beach, and my recent reacquaintance with Linkin Park made me think of song lyrics. I'll save the specifics for when I have the actual pictures (hopefully I don't ruin the film somehow - this is too nerve-wracking!) but I'll show you some behind the scenes shots my sister Joy took.

10 am - Katie arrived at my house to get ready. We decided what she would wear and what kind of makeup to put on. I drew out a sort of storyboard to show her the pictures we would be taking and she gave a lot of creative input.

11 am - We got our stuff together, woke Joy up and convinced her to come with us, and looked up directions to the beach (don't judge me for not knowing! My beach is closed because the bridge is under construction). We had to drive through Lake Worth so of course it took forever to get there.

12 pm - We ripped up Katie's stockings and I wrote the lyrics all over her body. We had an audience not only from the people around us, but also from a crowd on the boardwalk above us.

12:30 pm - I posed Katie, looked through the viewfinder of the camera, focused the lens, fiddled with the settings, and... decided it wasn't good enough. I reposed Katie, re-focused the camera, looked in, and... nope, still not it. It took me forever, but finally I took my first ever film picture. Film cameras make the most satisfying sound when the shutter is released!

I took a few more shots of that pose, then we moved on to the second. For this one, Katie had to be farther away from me. The wind was blowing, waves were crashing, people were yelling, and Katie couldn't hear my instructions. Joy had to relay my words back and forth until finally she just said, "Well how about something like this?" Katie did the pose she suggested, and I whooped in excitement. It was perfect! There are no digital pictures of the pose, so you'll just have to wait to see it on film. :)

12:39 pm - We spent so long on those first few poses that we only had a few minutes to do the rest. And things only got worse. For the next four poses, Katie had to be in the water, not just standing on the shore. The waves were of average size when we arrived, but I think the tide was going down and they were getting bigger. They smacked my poor Katie around like a rag doll as she valiantly tried to hold on to her poses. They beat me up as well, and at one point I actually fell into a sitting position in the water and only managed to save the camera by holding it high above my head.

12:45 pm - We were on pose 5 when I checked to see how many shots I had left. It said 29, I took four more pictures, and suddenly it was at 36. There are only 36 exposures in a roll of film, and I was heartbroken because we had one more pose to do. We decided to try it anyway. Katie laid down in the sand and so did I, I focused the shot, and click, took the picture. It worked! The film began to rewind all on its own. We had done it and we were finished!

It seemed like a long time to me, but looking at the meta data from the digital pictures Joy took, we were only shooting for 20 minutes.  I can hardly believe it! It was a good thing we finished when we did, though, because Katie had to get back to her college.

1 pm - We packed up, threw towels over the car seats, and took off. I have a little bit of a sunburn and Katie will probably be choking up sea water for days, but I hope the pictures will prove to be worth all the fuss!

Posing a Question

If I told you I was sorry,

Would you stare, then pass me by?

If I told you that I'd loved you,

Could you even spare a sigh?

Would you tell me what I did wrong?

Can we leave behind the past?

There's a distance here between us-

Could it really be so vast?

Will you ignore me for a lifetime?

Can't we let these burdens go?

I guess life's not like the movies

Guess we reap just what we sow

My 2012

On my old blog, I wrote a post every year on New Year's Eve. Looking back on those posts has been so meaningful to me, but I forgot to do that for 2012. I was too busy taking this picture:

The idea was to make a photograph that summed up my 2012. I knew there had to be lots of newspapers, so I started collecting any extras that I could while doing the route. Originally I wanted to be sitting cross-legged in the chair blowing a big bubble from some Bubblicious bubble gum, but after many tries and many poses, I was too frustrated with the way I looked and decided to focus on the one part of my body I'm comfortable with: my legs.

So it became a little joke about how much I sleep. I'm passed out on the ground, wearing the boots I found at Goodwill and the size 14 shorts that I finally fit in. On the table is a can of Monster, a jar of Mod Podge, Kiera Cass's The Selection, a can of white spray paint, and a My Little Pony calendar (which isn't visible). And of course, I had to fit a camera in but I needed to take the picture with my Nikon, so I put the Minolta that Suzana gave me for my Intro to Photography class on top of my textbook for Strategies for Learning Success.

The papers strewn all over the floor are from me wrapping the presents for my parents. They added a nice touch, I think.

2012 was a wonderful year. I feel that after all the struggles and the heartache, I've finally grown into myself. I've also grown up quite a bit. I lost a friend, made some new ones, started a new job, joined a gym, lost a significant amount of weight, started college again, and was happy. Very, very happy. The future is so bright, despite the health issues with my parents. I know everything is going to be just fine.

Grief

When you first lose something you loved... a precious object, a family member, a belief... the grief is so strong because you don't know how to go on without it. They say time heals but I think the reality is that we keep going and we learn that we can live without the thing we once held dear. The pain exists because we think we need the thing to survive, and as we continue our lives the pain fades because we discover that we didn't need it as much as we thought.

I Will

I will be strong.
I will do things I do not want to do.
Even if I fail and fail again, I will not quit.
I will succeed in the end.
I will keep my faith, even when I don't act it.
I will set goals and achieve them.

I want to cry out from the wanting,
This desire I have to be the best,
My best.
I will learn, I will grow, I will do.
Every day I will look back and realize
That I've arrived where yesterday I was pining to be.
My arms will carry heavy loads,
My legs will move with strength and grace,
I will smile at everyone and forgive.

There was a person I imagined as a child.
I will be that person.

Happy birthday. Love you, whoever you would've been.

First or Third?

If (when!) I get around to writing a book, I know I'll probably end up writing in first person. It scares me though because I hate when I read a book in first person and the main character is hardly a character at all. All the other people in the book have personalities and quirks and you get to know them, but for some reason, reading in first person eliminates that main character from your head. You replace them with yourself. And it doesn't make sense when the love interest falls in love with them because there's nothing there to love, just a voice narrating a story.

So the obvious solution would be to write in third person, but that always seems so stilted. If you have two females talking, it's a thin line between being repetitive and making things confusing. (For example, "She looked at her and knew she would never come back." Who would never come back? The first she or the second she? The alternative is, "Stacy looked at Maria and knew Maria would never come back." Which just sounds dumb. I hate using names too often. It's awkward.)